The New Divorce Rate in the U.S.

There is so much talk about marriage and divorce in the good ol' USA. The religious right is adamantly against gay marriage and for the dumbest reasons. If we allow to men or two women to marry, it will destroy marriage the way God made it and men will be allowed to marry goats or some such insane dribble. If God made marriage between a man and a woman why is the divorce rate so high? And how in the hell does Adam marrying Steve open the door for Joe Blow to marry Donald Duck? But I digress. There is a much more serious divorce rate in the USA and people don't realize it. It the separation and subsequent divorce of the button and the buttonhole. Sometimes it is the old-fashioned metal or plastic button from a stitched buttonhole. The poor button tries valiantly to hold onto his soul mate but the human belly is a roadblock to the unity of button and buttonhole. The poor button holds on for dear life and sometimes even uses the human lifeline of string or rubber band, only to watch its threads sever one by one until it pops off and is lost forever. The brass button and the denim buttonhole may last a bit longer, but the result is inevitably the same: the cloth can no longer hold onto it's brass lover and it must finally feel the pain of having a lifelong friend and partner ripped from it's grasp. I've suffered through many of these 'divorces" and always swear that I will never again be the third wheel to such a breakup but knowing that I can't make that promise unless I first change my ways. Am I ready? We'll see.